Why?

Why are people's hearts so hardened towards God? What did God do to make some people ignore him and others hate Him? Why is God's name used more as a curse word than as a term of endearment? Why do people seek fulfillment in every way imaginable except seeking after the Lord? Why? My heart is burdened by many who have sadly chosen to go their own way. When these questions get distilled the main reason one chooses not to believe there is a God is because they do not want to hand over the keys to their life. People do not want to be held accountable by anyone but themselves. I can't sleep tonight as my mind keeps running again and again over these thoughts. Sadly, the greatest answer to many of these questions is modern day Christians. The greatest testimony against Christianity is not its beliefs but the lives of those who claim the title. I am burdened because I realize I am a sinner and a selfish person, yet realize that a world is watching. I am torn as I want to be a light to a watching world that Jesus is alive, yet still seek and desire what the world desires. My only hope is that God can use a forgiven sinner. One blessing of seminary is you have a lot of knowledge to answer a lot of questions, but theology alone doesn't do very much good at convincing others (especially in a post-modern society where logic doesn't matter nearly as much). I live in a culture and see so many that desperately long for "true love" yet will not under any circumstance turn to a God who is love. Looking from this side of God's grace it is clear that many are blinded to the Good News. I must pray, live and share the foolishness of the Good News so that those whose hearts are blind might see.

Brought to Tears

In America we move at the speed of light, or as a missionary friend stated when he returned to America, "Americans are moving at mach 5 with their hair on fire." I can't help but think of the classic movie: Spaceballs, when they move way past lightspeed passing ridiculous speed and enter ludicrous speed. There is nothing wrong with moving fast, staying busy, or accomplishing tasks. The problem, as today I have been so humbled to remember, is that if anything takes our focus off the creator than we are misaligned. I just picked up a book that starts by talking about the absolutely great God that we so often ignore. It describes the absolutely amazing handiwork of the Creator in the heavens and on this planet. I was brought to tears. God is so much bigger than I can imagine, sadly I do not live daily in light of this fact. Too often I live my life in the fast line. It is my life, my agenda, my will. I honestly can't remember the last time I have slowed down and just stared at the stars in the heavens, worshipping My God. It is amazing that life can be so simple (Jesus summed up the purpose of life as loving God and loving others) yet it is so easy to forget this commandment. I wish I was better than the Israelites who quickly forgot about the God who parted the Red Sea and lead them out of captivity, but I am not. Praise God for His grace! I am forever indebted.

A Baby Understanding Of Perseverance

One of the many joys of Seminary is that you are continually challenged and reminded to put into practice that which you already know. Lately I have been challenged in my baby understanding of perseverance. It is one of those concepts that is so easy to understand yet so difficult to put into practice. After many years of following Christ one would expect life to get easier or more routine. Yet this is simply not the case. Life usually gets harder and as my heart continues to be molded by the Father I am more aware of my selfishness, and the great responsibility I have been given as one entrusted with the Good News. Here is the difficulty in persevering. Life seems like you are always trying to avoid hurling fireballs. If you think for a second you can live life without running towards the Alpha and Omega then you will surely become a target for the hurling fireballs of selfishness which leave you paralyzed and open to the fire that so quickly consumes your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Growing old has been one of those things that has plagued me with fear. I have seen numerous people (even those who have claimed to know the Creator of the Universe) grow cold in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. However, there are those that amaze me. I have been blessed to see the perseverance of those who have faithfully sought after the Lord forsaking their own selfish desires for years. I have been encouraged and surrounded by godly men such as Dr. Pentecost who continues to this day to faithfully serve the Lord, even at the age of 93! I am thankful for God's promise to carry onto completion that which he started, yet also reminded that I have a responsibility to be diligent and faithful. May I not become lackadaisical.